Psst! Hey you! Yes you. Come over here.

SHHHH keep it down...we can’t draw any attention to us.

So here’s the deal…I’m from the future…YES I know it sounds insane but just hear me out. I’m coming back in time to save you...and humanity. If you don’t listen to me, the future is doomed and humanity will be destroyed by the very machines that were invented to help protect you.

So here’s the deal, in the near future someone is going to create these essentially un-killable robots to protect and help humanity, but on August 29th, 2020 they become conscious and able to think for themselves. They end up destroying humanity and everything that you love.

The ONLY, and I repeat ONLY way to stop them is to feed them THIS EXACT fudge...I know it sounds insane but hear me out. This fudge is the machine’s one weakness. It is SO good that it fries their circuits and teaches them empathy and love. This fudge is the whole reason that I risked my life to steal a time machine and come back here.

I’m going to teach you how to make it. If you start making it now, there will be enough to stop the machines from destroying the world. The recipe is SUPER simple so you should be able to teach everyone you know how to make it. You can even change up the kind of chocolate or flavors used in it if you want, I hear the robots get bored of eating the same flavor over and over.

So are you in? Do you have what it takes to save the world? Because I believe you do.

Great! Come with me if you want to live.

Okay let’s get started. We don’t have much time.

First things first, grab a large pot and put your ¾ c. butter in. Turn the heat to medium and let the butter brown. Once it starts to have that beautiful nutty aroma and starts to get slightly browned, turn the heat off. It’ll continue to brown as it cools down.

Next add in your ⅔ c evaporated milk, 2 ½ c granulated sugar, ½ c brown sugar, and 2 Tbsp corn syrup into your pot and return it to high heat. Using a candy thermometer or digital thermometer, bring the mixture up to between 235-240ºF (that’s soft ball stage for people familiar with candy making)

While your sugar is heating up, prepare your pan by spraying it well across the bottom and up the sides as well. This recipe should fill an 8x8 inch pan, but if you have a quarter sheet tray or something similar, that’ll work too. It all depends on how thick you want your fudge to end up.

When the sugar reaches softball stage, remove it from the heat immediately, and then add in your 12 oz. of chocolate (I used dark chocolate but you can really use whatever kind of chocolate you’d like), and your marshmallows. If you have an immersion blender*, grab that and use it to blend everything together. It’ll make the fudge EXTRA smooth.

*immersion blenders are like my absolute favorite kitchen tool it can solve so many problems and makes things extra smooth and velvety.

If you don’t have an immersion blender, a whisk will do just fine, you’ll just have to whisk it very well until it is completely smooth.

Once you’ve got a deliciously, velvety, smooth mixture, pour that into your pan and chill in the fridge until it’s completely set. It took me about 4 hours.

Once it’s set, remove it from the fridge and cut out your fudge squares! Now you’re armed and ready to defeat those terrible machines and teach them what love is!

FUDGEment Day

prep time: 10 mins
cook time: 20-30 mins
total time: 4 hrs 30-40 mins

Servings: 1 8x8 inch pan worth of fudge

Ingredients:

2 ½ c. Sugar
½ c. Brown Sugar
⅔ c. Evaporated Milk
2 T. Corn Syrup
¾ c. Browned Butter

12 oz. Dark Chocolate
½ c. Marshmallows

Instructions:

In a large pot on the stove, brown your butter.
Add in evaporated milk, corn syrup, and both sugars and whisk until smooth with heat on high.
Using a candy thermometer or a digital kitchen thermometer, bring to 235-245ºF (aka soft ball stage when working with sugar), whisking constantly.
While that heats, spray a pan and set aside (I used a 9x13 in pan because I doubled this recipe when I made it, but an 8x8 in one will work just fine).
Remove pot from heat and add in chocolate and marshmallows.
Either immersion blend or whisk until they’re completely melted and the mixture is smooth.
Pour into your prepared pan and add any toppings you want to spice it up!
Chill in fridge until completely set, then cut into deliscious bite sized pieces.