♫I don’t want to close my eyes, I don’t wanna fall asleep...cuz I’d miss you babe, and I don’t want to miss a thing…♫

There’s a giant 600-mile-wide asteroid hurtling towards earth, threatening to end humanity in the same way as the dinosaurs, and humanity’s only hope is a bunch of...oil drillers?? I’d say we’re pretty fucked.

Well since we’re all going to die in a fieri explosion...or the centuries long ice age that follows, we may as well eat the shit out of some delicious pie. And what better pie to celebrate our impending charring, than with a Smokey Charred Pumpkin Pie?

I present to you: ArmaGOURDdon!

What’s fun about this pumpkin pie is that you get to make your own pumpkin puree and also there’s scotch in it so you can drink while you bake!

Starting with the pumpkin, get yourself 1 pie pumpkin (they’re like a special little pumpkin that’s usually sold in the grocery store in the produce section in fall). To prepare the pumpkin you’ve gotta cut the stem part off, and then cut the whole thing in half. Scrape out ALL of the seeds and stringy stuff from the middle (like you would with a jack-o-lantern). You can save the seeds to snack on if you want a savory snack too before you die a fiery death, you just have to clean the stringy guts off the seeds and give them a wash then toss them in some olive oil and salt / spices and roast them at 375ºF until they’re toasty.

Anyways, prepare a cookie sheet by covering it in foil, and then place your pumpkin halves, skin side up (the flat side should be against the foil). Roast the pumpkin at 400ºF for about 1 hour or until the skin starts to char. Then flip the pumpkin over and raise the temperature to 425ºF and char the “meat” of the pumpkin for like...10 minutes tops.

Then let that cool a little bit so you can work with it. Meanwhile, make your pie crust using this recipe HERE.

While the crust chills, return to your pumpkin. Remove the skin and put the “meat” of it into a food processor, or blender, and blend it until you get a nice smooth pumpkin puree.

Set that aside and return to your pie crust. Roll the dough out thin, like ⅛ of an inch thick, and place it into your pie tin. Put the crust in the freezer for like 10 minutes just to let it set up. Now preheat your oven to 375ºF.

Once the pie crust is pretty frozen, take it out of the freezer and line it with foil, and then fill it with dried beans or rice or pie weights and par-bake the crust for about 20 minutes.

While that bakes, make your filling. Combine the pumpkin puree, brown sugar, spices, eggs, cream, and scotch in a bowl and whisk to combine, then set that aside.

Remove the foil/beans from your par-baked crust, and pour your filling in. Put the pie onto a cookie sheet and into the oven at 375ºF. Fill the cookie sheet with about ½ inch of water for a water bath and bake the pie for about 45 mins - 1 hour. You’ll know it’s done with the outer part of the filling is set completely and the center jiggles just slightly.

Cool the pie completely before keeping it in the fridge until you’re ready to serve it!

I like to serve it with a maple whipped cream, but have fun with it or just eat it plain!

And that’s it! Now drink yourself into a stupor and eat your weight in pie as you watch the news and await your demise!

ArmaGOURDdon

prep time: 2 hr 30 mins
cook time: 45 mins
total time: 3 hrs 15 mins

Servings: 1 pie

Charred Pumpkin:

Ingredients:

1 ea Pie Pumpkin

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400ºF
Cut pumpkin in half and remove seeds and strings like you would when carving a jack-o-lantern.
Cover a baking sheet in tin foil. And place pumpkin halves on the sheet skin side up.
Bake for 1 hour.
Flip pumpkin over and turn the oven temperature up to 450ºF
Bake for 10-15 minutes or until the top of the pumpkin is blackened.
Remove from heat and let cool a little bit.
Remove the skin, and place pumpkin meat into a food processor or blender and blend until smooth.
Cool completely and store covered in the fridge until needed (I’d do this at least the day before you make the pie.

Filling:

Ingredients:

2 T (1oz.) Butter, browned
1 ¼ c. Brown Sugar (packed)
15 oz (1 ea) Charred Pumpkin puree
3 ea. Eggs
1 c. Heavy Cream
2 tsp Vanilla Bean Paste
1 ½ tsp. Maple Syrup
1 T. Cinnamon
1 tsp. Ground Ginger
½ tsp. Ground Cloves
⅛ tsp Ground Ginger
1T Peaty Scotch
¼ tsp Salt

Instructions:

Brown butter and set aside to let cool slightly.
Combine everything in a large bowl.
Whisk until smooth.
Refrigerate until needed.

Smokey Pumpkin Pie:

Instructions:

Roll out pie dough and place into pie tin.
Shape however you’d like and freeze for at least 10 minutes.
Preheat the oven to 375ºF
Remove empty pie crust from freezer and cover with foil. Make sure to press down and up the sides and along any scalloped edges. This will help it hold it’s shape.
Fill with dried beans or rice and par-bake for about 20-25 minutes, or until the bottom starts to brown a little bit (if you’re using a glass pan you’ll be able to see otherwise you’ll just have to guess)
Remove from heat and let cool for about 20 mins
Remove foil/beans and fill the pie crust with the prepared pumpkin filling.
Bake on a cookie sheet in a water bath for 40 mins.
Remove from oven momentarily and egg wash the edges of the crust.
Return pie to oven without water bath/baking sheet and bake for another 10-15 minutes, or until the center of the pie is only lightly jiggly. If it starts to crack you’ve gone too far. If you notice the pie crust is starting to get too dark for your liking, and the center is still not cooked, cover the edge of the crust with foil in a circle, be sure to keep the filling of the pie open.
Let cool and keep refrigerated until needed!