Not all recipes will be the actual end of the world, but more like a symptom. I’d file this one into the “Climate Change” category of end of the world scenarios. With the earth getting hotter due to us humans being absolute idiots, natural disasters are getting significantly more intense. All jokes aside this is the most real aPIEcalypse we’re going to have to deal with. This can and actually is happening.

This week the “dessert”ster (if you will) is going to be inspired by one of my absolute favorite movies in the entire world, so……Story time!!

Throughout the summer, my husband and I do screenings of movies on our roof (which overlooks all of Los Angeles and is actually the coolest thing in the entire world). We’re super lucky that we are able to do this. I finally managed to convince him to show one of my favorite movies from my childhood, Twister.

Without getting too into it, this movie is pretty much where my love for all things disaster came from. At 7 I used to watch the VHS of Twister every other day after school (alternating with my other favorite Deep Impact). Blah, Blah, Blah, something about me relating to Jo because of similar trauma or whatever my therapist might say...Blah, Blah, Blah.

Anyways as we were getting ready to have a bunch of people over to watch this movie, an idea came to me. Pie Twisters. Basically these little suckers are extremely easy to make and can be made with your left over scraps from any pie you’ve recently made. I always run into the problem, when I make pies, of having left over pie crust and filling. It’s never enough for a whole second pie, so I never know what to do with it. Pie Twisters are the perfect solution!

That being said, I’ve written this recipe as if you’re not just using scraps, but doing everything from scratch, and I’m not going to write out the whole pie dough recipe again since it’s a little involved. You can find that HERE.

Okay! Story time is over, now onto the fun stuff!

Time to get into the mood...Picture this: The air raid sirens are wailing in the background, the windchime/art piece that aunt Meg made you is going crazy, you’ve only got 3 minutes warning to get into your basement before the F5 (Finger of God) tornado hits.

You were in the middle of making a delicious Blackberry Peach Bramble Pie for your husband’s 40th birthday, but now there’s not going to be any time for that. Who even knows if your house will still be standing when this whole thing is over. You grab what you can and rush your family into the basement. The wind is howling, the lights go out, you can barely even hear yourself think. To try and keep yourself and your children remotely sane, you get them to help you assemble the pie, but you’ve forgotten a crucial instrument...the pie tin. What on earth are you going to do now? You’ve got pie dough already rolled out, pie filling ready to go, but nothing to put it in?? Necessity is the mother of invention right? So you think quickly, can’t let the cacophony happening outside creep in and make you more scared than you already are right? Gotta keep busy. That’s when it comes to you. You think of the cinnamon twists your aunt used to make you when you were younger...why can’t you do that same thing but with pie filling instead? Seems totally doable.

“Right” you say “here’s what we’re going to do.” Then you guys get to work.

You take the already rolled out pie dough and roll it thinner (about ⅛” thick). Then you take a knife from your survival kit and cut the dough into 2” wide strips and lay them out onto a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.

Since you’re underground it’s going to be pretty cool so you can just leave your dough strips out while you prepare your filling, otherwise I’d suggest throwing it in the fridge for a bit to keep it cool.

I’m not a huge fan of cooking my pie filling before putting it into my pie, seeing as it’s going to cook while in the oven anyway. Since this situation is a bit different, you’re going to need to cook up your filling before spreading it on the dough. The pie filling I’m using in this recipe is my Blackberry Peach Bramble since peaches and blackberries are SUPER in season at the moment and extra delicious.

Okay…throw all of your ingredients (fruit, sugars, spices, corn starch, gin) into a pot on your camping stove that you keep in the basement for emergencies just like this. Turn the heat on medium/high and stir constantly. Eventually the filling will cook down and thicken up and will become a little more like a jam.

Remove the pot from the stove, and set it somewhere safe where it won't start a fire. No need for two disasters to happen in one night. The wind is still howling away and you’re pretty sure you heard your windows smashing. Don’t let that get to you and keep focused on baking. It’s the only thing that will keep you from thinking about how all of your memories and happiness are being sucked up and tossed around then blown miles away where you will never find them again.

Back to the dough strips. Grab those out of the fridge if you put them in there, and get a spoonful of filling. Make sure to spread your strips across the cookie sheet that you’re going to put into the oven (which I didn’t do and ended up making a giant mess when I had to move the filled strips over after the fact), and spread the filling down the strip length wise. Like so:

Fold them in half so the filling is inside like a hotdog in a bun. Now it’s time to twist them up more than the wind is twisting up everything you loved. Make sure to twist starting at the middle. I promise it’ll make your life a little bit easier. Once they’re all twisted up, egg wash the top, and sprinkle some sanding sugar over the top for a little extra sweetness/crunch.

Once those are all done, put them back into the cooler to chill for a little bit, and preheat your oven to about 375ºF. Once your oven is nice and hot, put the twists into the oven and let them bake for about 12-15 minutes. They’ll be ready when they’re nice and golden brown and smell like heaven.

And that’s it. Those should be done around the same time that the tornado has moved on to torment someone else, or dissipate back into the atmosphere.

Enjoy these while you pick up the shattered pieces of your life and try to put it back together.

Pie Twisters

prep time: 15 mins
cook time: 20 mins
total time: 35 mins

Ingredients:

Filling:

1 ea. Basket Blackberries
2 ea Yellow Peaches, cubed small

1 c. Dark Brown Sugar
3T Corn Starch
½ tsp. Ground Ginger
¼ tsp. Ground Black Pepper
¼ tsp. Salt

¼ c. Gin
½ ea. Lemon Juice & Zest

Pie Crust:

Recipe here

Filling Instructions:

Wash all of the fruit, and just throw the blackberries into the pot (don't start heating it yet).
Cut the peach into small cubes so it'll cook a little faster and fit into the twisters, and then add those to the pot.
Add your dry ingredients into the pot (sugar, salt, spices, corn starch) and mix. Make sure the fruit all gets coated.
Add your liquids (gin and lemon juice) and the lemon zest and mix together as well.
Turn the heat onto medium/high and stir constantly until thickened.
Remove from heat and let cool.

Assembling the Twisters:

Remove your pie dough from the fridge.
Heavily Flour a work surface and roll your dough out into a rectangle about 1/8 of an inch thick.(lift the dough up from the surface every now and again so it doesn't get stuck).
Cut strips about 2 inches wide and 5-6 inches in length and put them on a cookie sheet lines with a silpat or parchment paper.
Spoon your filling length wise down the strips.
Fold each strip in half length wise
Gently twist each strip starting at the middle and working your way out.
Egg wash the top and add sanding sugar if you want.
Bake at 375ºF for about 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.
Enjoy!